i gess it all started when my grandmother called me and wanted to talk to me on the phone she was sick and had a lot of problems.But i was young and said that i had shit to do and that i would call her back and i went out with my girlfriend at the time. i never called her back. the next day i got a call form my aunt and asked if i had talked to her and i said that she had caled but i was busy and i would call her back . so she said ok and i called her again and never got an awnser i knew something was worng. i told my dad and we went to her house. we got to her house and knocked on the door and there was no anwser so my called her house and she didnt pick up. my grandmother was blind so we knew something was wrong we called everyone in the family that we knew to see it she was with them. thay all said no she should be at home. so we called the fire daperment and thay came and broke in to the house i was the first one in the house and the first one to find her lyeing on the floor dead form a heartatack. I fell to the floor i lost it. I didnt want to talk to her because i had better things to do with my gf then to even talk to her and the day i called her she passed i felt like the bigest asshole in the world and still to this day i wish i just talked to her one last time.


the second one is when my dad passed away on oct 10 of this year it killed me he was verry sick for a long time he was haveing problems since 94 but every he allways pulled through. but over time everything got worse and he got sicker and sicker. he had a lotmore health problems form all the meds and stuff he was on for his heart and other stuff his kednees and liver shut down and anurisum he had to get ruched in to the hospital on the 9th because he was haveing really bad pains in his back and side where it was that took him up and did i ct scan and told him that he had to have sugery on it. all the wow i was at my friends batchler party and had no clue what was going on but for some reason i checked my cell phone to see 20 missed calls and voice mails for my family and him. lessond to all of then and my heart dropped i started freeking out. i called my mother and brother and was freeking out because i had no car there we all took one together i finely get there and see him and get to talk to him. And he told me he would see me when he got out and when he got better thay we would go hunting together because he couldnt do it and that was his favert thing to do before he got sick. we waited there all night he came out and was fine so we went home and where going to get some sleep and come back the next day. as we pulled up in front on the house in the yard accrost the street form mine was a 10 point buck and it was weard because all the yards here the woods have really high fences in there yards so he had to come down the street. i felt something was wrong but i let the feeling go and was going to tell my dad what i seen the next moring well i just sat on the couch and took off my shoos and we get a call we had to go back he took a turn for the worse and he passed away when we got there and i got to say my good buys. but life is heard now we lost a lot of money and are in det form all his hospital bills and house payments among others. we are all pulling through and fine but its tuff. i know that i allways seem to be in a good mood but im a broken man theres a lot of stuff i do and say thats a front so ppl dont know how i really feel but im geting better as time goes on.

RIP DAD I LOVE YOU